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Nasi Padang Friends

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An Indian, a Malay, a Eurasian and a Chinese met for lunch the other day.

Various places were suggested but rejected. Then one asked: “Where can we get good Nasi Padang?”

A well known eating place at Joo Chiat was mentioned.

So on that nice sunny day, the four met for a catch up lunch.

The four became friends almost 30 years ago while working in the same industry. Now, three are still working and one has retired.

The Chinese hadn’t met two of them for a few years. Still, there was no awkwardness, just lots of reminiscing and jokes. Although at times, the Chinese felt a bit lost as the jokes flew fast and furious. But the care and concern given to the very young Chinese back then as a young and green rookie in the working world, was still evident during lunch that day.



As I reflected on the meeting that night, I realised that it was not just a celebration of friendships that have lasted nearly three decades. It was also a realisation, how race, religion and gender were not part of the equation during all these years.

We shared a yummy meal of nasi padang that day before proceeding to kopi and tei (the kopi and tei were regrettable). Before parting, they repeatedly told me to to keep in touch and not to be a stranger.

Four different races, three different religion and two different genders. I felt blessed and fortunate.

Here’s to my friends and more nasi padang in the future.

 

Cardboard nation

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The group of elderly people picking up cardboards is in the limelight. Funny things is, I’m not sure if they are aware that their plight is a hot potato topic with the upcoming General Election. Because to them, their main concern is getting enough money for food and rent.

There has been claims that there is an increase in this group. Again, I’m not sure about this because the poor has always been among us. Perhaps people have suddenly taken more notice of their existence? But I could be wrong.

Recently, I spent a little time with this group of people.

I must clarify- I am in no position to say I understand them and their problems.

But I did come to some conclusions.



Human beings are complex. We listen and wonder why they would refuse to accept a logical solution to their problem. Because we have no vested interest in their situations, no emotions are involved. So it is easy to stay detach and make suggestions. But as someone just commented recently, ‘You are not me. Do not pretend to know you can solve my problems.’

Why would a person in poor health and struggling to get that few pieces of card boxes to make that $2, continue to smoke? Logically, he should stop because smoking makes him ill and it eats into his meager earnings. But when you’re over 70 and probably have been smoking more than half your life, it would be almost impossible to stop.

Why would a person who is staying in a rented flat meant to be shared by 2 persons, refused to do so and would rather bear the full amount? It would make more sense to pay $100 instead of $200 right? Again, this may be due to a human issue. Those who are renting a room or renting out room would understand perhaps. You feel that the place is not yours. So while it doesn’t matter financial sense, it makes emotional sense.

You also wonder why they do not look for other slightly better paid jobs that would give them regular income. For example, a stall assistant? There are certainly plenty of such positions around.

Perhaps they have done this for so long that they much prefer this way of life, even if it is a lot harder.

We all tend to resist and fear change, even more so when you old. Because change is unknown. Change is scary.

In other words, they are all unique cases that probably require different approaches to solve their problems.

But make no mistake, these are a stubborn and resilient bunch. I think the older generation often are. They would prefer to solve the problems themselves than go to the government or social agencies for help. It is embarrassing and a loss of pride for them.

But help they do need- in all the 3 C’s

Cash, care and concern.

Do I think the government should do more to help the poor and the elderly. It’s a resounding YES. If it means having less amenities in my estate so that they can live a little better in my estate, I am perfectly alright.

But policies need time to craft and implement. And even then, some will still fall through the cracks for various reasons.

So perhaps it’s up to us, individuals to chip in.

Sometimes, it makes a world of difference to have someone hold your hand and tell you, ‘It’s ok. You’ve done well. You’re not alone’. And that $50 that you will blow in a single meal would help them in a long way.

I am no angel and I am definitely unable to be there all the time.

But if everyone takes turn and do that little bit. Imagine how much can be done.

In recent months, some people have managed to raise money via crowd funding for all sort of reasons and objectives. Just a dollar, they say.

Well, how about just a dollar for the poor who needs it and maybe an hour of your time once a month?

I think it’s doable right?

If you are interested to pitch in, there are many charity groups that need volunteers. Do check around. But there are 2 informal groups that I follow regularly. A Packet of Rice and Happy People Helping People Foundation.

I live in hope that we will all become a caring nation and not a cardboard nation.

Voting for our future

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Politics and religion are sensitive topics. It can cause friction among friends, family and even couples.

This election has seen more passionate, heated and even fiery discussion.

For the first time since Singapore’s independence, everyone will get to vote. There is no walkover.

For the first time since Singapore’s independence, there are a total of 9 parties and 2 independent candidates.

For the first time since Singapore’s independence, there is no LKY.

Is it any wonder if the election fever is at a all time high?

I am glad that there is so much interest. Not just because there are so many different parties but because Singaporeans care, contrary to the common believe that most are disinterested.

During this period, all parties (yes, including the ruling parties) will be offering everything under the moon. Are they achievable? Or are they illusions? This is something that each and everyone of us who are voting will have to decide.

Ultimately, you vote for the party that speaks the most to you and feel that will offer a better future for yourself and most importantly, your children and your children’s children.

If this passion continues, then I am hopeful and certain that even more credible and capable people will come up in the future to serve and lead Singapore into the future for generations to come.

On 11 September, go to the polls with a clear conviction that the party you are going to vote for is the best for the country.

Old Parliament House

 

National Day- The Pledge

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Every year, the government tries very hard to drum up the patriotic factor around this period. When I start hearing ‘national songs’ on the radio, I know it’s that time of the already. Somehow though, like Xmas celebrations, I get the impression that it seems to start earlier and earlier each year.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against all these celebrations and I’m rather proud to be a Singaporean but errr… singing patriotic songs and putting on national color clothes like a bit much for me lor.

I did put up the flag on National Day though…at the insistence of my husband…who is not a Singaporean. But more of that later.

This year, the organisers had a brainwave-
Let’s say the pledge together…where ever you may be, together with those thousands of people watching the parade. And say it at 8:22pm.

Hubby thought there was a significance to the time. Like maybe that’s when MM Lee gave that momentous speech that Singapore was officially on it’s own, or when Raffles stepped onto Singapore…anyway, something meaningful. He didn’t believe me when I told he it’s just to time it with the parade programme. Of course, the funny thing was, the pledge wasn’t recited at 8:22pm at the parade. It’s not just because my clock on my cable machine says so. The bells were chiming very loudly (signaling 8:22pm) but they were still singing away. Hmmm…maybe next year, if they want to do it properly, they should just give the cue for the bell to chime when the pledge reciting starts. Strange that nobody reported that the pledge did not start at exactly 8:22pm after all the hype.

Another curious fact.

They (ie, the government) want everyone to recite the pledge but hor…how many of us remember it? Let’s face facts, most of us left school many light years ago and though I remember snippets of it, I honestly do not remember the whole thing. I’m getting old liao. Or maybe that shows I’m not very patriotic or Singaporean enough.

Oops!

Anyway, my point was, why didn’t they print/ post / recite out on radio/ the pledge for all so that those who really, really want to say it, can do so. There are so many media nowadays to do so- post on internet (maybe the P65 blog?) Twitter? Youtube? They can even print it in the newspapers, after all SPH earns huge profit every year, taking out a one page ad to place the pledge shouldn’t be too draining on them. Hubby also received an sms from his hp provider reminding him to say the pledge. But hor…how to say it if you don’t know it?

I just had a brainwave- they can print out into small flyer and put into the postboxes. Then everyone will sure have a copy of the pledge and will not have the excuse that they don’t remember how to say it.

Or is it illegal to print out the pledge? Hmm….

Anyway, one of the reason I noticed so much more about National Day this year is because of my girl. In previous years, there are times when I do not even watch the parade (alright, alright, don’t throw stones at me). I have been involved in it before when I was a student and I really, truely appreciate all the efforts put in by the various participants. Really, but……

However this year was a little different- I had my little girl.

I was quite keen for her to get a feel of it..even though she’s really more interested in nursery rhymes than the National Anthem at the moment. I guess one feels differently when one has family.

And she being the product of 2 different cultures and 2 different races, I…We want her to experience and appreciate both sides. It was the reason why my husband actually dug out the Singapore flag and asked me to put it up.

Which now leads me to the next question on my…our minds. Yeah, yeah… I very ‘cheem’ tonight.

Singapore doesn’t allow dual passports at the moment…but hubby’s country does. If this doesn’t change by the time she’s 18, she will be forced by the SG government to make a decision. Now I know the government’s reasoning was one should make a clear stand so that in times of conflict, one will know what to do.

Besides the fact that this so-call logic doesn’t hold any water, it’s like asking a child to decide if she wants to be with the father or the mother even though both the parents are happily married and together. She is being forced to accept one and reject the other. With so many inter-marriages nowadays (especially with the government actively encouraging foreign talents here), it’s a matter of time before they have to decide on this issue.

Will it be done before she’s 18? Well, there’s 17 more years to go.

Baby M waving her flag. She likes red. ^^

Spring cleaning spring love

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After so many months, I thought it was time to shake the dust off this blog and start writing again.

And coincidentally, I was also doing some spring cleaning a couple of weeks back…you know…Chinese New Year. Yes, that once a year where you feel compelled to give your house a thorough cleaning, chucking out all the mess that you’ve accumulated for the past 360 days, though why one should suddenly feel they are junk just 5 days before Chinese New Year after having lived with them in close comfort for the past 360 days before is a puzzle to me.

Back to my story, my aunt was clearing out the cupboards and took out a couple of boxes and dumped them infront of me….telling me in no uncertain terms that I was to go through them and preferably throw them out.

I took a peek….and found that one of them contained the many letters and cards that I’ve kept since I was young.

If you’re around my age, you would remember that once upon a time, people send out cards for all occassions and no occassions. Internet and handphone were non-existent then. Of course, in the last few years, less and less people (me included) send out cards because well….choosing, buying, writing and sending out cards take time….something which we tend to have less of nowadays (though my excuse is that I’m saving the tress ^^). But I must say cards are still special..unless they are cards from your insurance agents.

Anyway, whilst going through the box of cards and letters…I came across a very nice Valentine’s Day card. Opening the card, I saw the short message written in it, telling me how it was love at first sight for him, how pretty I was and ended with a wish from him that I would be his valentine. I found a couple more cards from him…all very big, nice and mushy and all probably costing a bomb.

The cards brought a puzzled smile to my face.

A smile because it was nice to remember the days of young – of being wooed and ‘chased’ and ‘desired’.

Puzzled because I have absolutely no recollection who ‘Ian’ was, which was this said admirer’s name.

Now before you start thinking I had a whole army of suitors in my days of young, I assured you I didn’t..though I did have a few ‘ahem!’ admirers (hubby..are you reading this?). But I do remember all the guys I went out with..at least their names anyway…even if I can’t really remember their faces now.

But the name ‘Ian’ drew a blank. Zilch. Zero.

After thinking long and hard, I think I can hazard a guess who he might be, but I’m still not absolutely sure. And yet, he must have made an impact on me or I wouldn’t have kept his cards all these years right? So why don’t I remember him? And did I even ever go out on a date with him? If it’s who I think he was, I think we had a couple of dinners or lunches or teas…

But you know what would be really interesting?

Would he remember me? Maybe not (X.. who? Never heard of her).

Many people talk about their puppy love or first love with mucht nostalgic warmth. But in reality, many do not really remember much about it. The other day, the DJs on this morning show was asking if listeners remembered their firt kiss…and guess what, most could not remember where or when (well, they have a rough time frame but no exact date).

Me? I can’t even remember how it felt. Oops.

It’s not that all those past relationships weren’t important…they were..at that point in my life…from the first time I went out with a guy…to the first time when I fell in love…to the first time a guy broke my heart into a thousand pieces. They were all part of my life and helped to make my life interesting and what I am today BUT I am more happy and concerned about the present and now.

Sometime last year, I met up with a Korean and she told me something rather interesting. For those of you who watch Korean dramas, you would know that they are mostly filled with themes of finding first love or still being in love with the first love or something like that. Very romantic (which of course is a huge reason for it’s popularity amongst women, the fact that the leading men are droolicious is a plus point of course). Anyway, I asked her out of curiousity if first love is really that important to the Koreans (since dramas tend to mirror life) and she said yes…and in fact she herself would like to find/ know about her first love. Hmmm…

I told her I have absolutely no desire to find my first love, or my second love…in fact any of my past love. Of course, if any of my past loves had looked like Bae Yong Joon or Takeshi Kaneshiro or Daniel Craig, I would be be dying to find them. But then if any of my past loves looked like any of the 3 above guys above, I would still be hanging on to them now. Wahahaha!

I prefer the present and the future…the past, whether good or bad, are great memories but I don’t dwell too much on them. Because the now will become past one day and I want to enjoy it now. The fact that I can’t even remember who this great admirer, Ian is, despite keeping his cards all these years is a good case in point.

Should I keep Ian’s cards?

Perhaps I will keep just one…just for memories’ sake….or until I can solve the mystery of just who this Ian is. ^^

Are you keeping your spring love?

Driving hazard

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I heard this news over the radio yesterday..that a 105 years old lady become the oldest driver in the world. She’s been driving for over 70 years and she doesn’t have a driving license as such thing didn’t exist then. They just buy a car and start driving. But she does not have a single accident in her driving record.

Sigh…

And me? I just had my first driving lessons last week and probably became the latest hazard on the circuit.

I’m not sure if I can live to 105 and even if I did, I’m not sure if I can still drive at that age.

Heck…I’m not even sure if I can pass my test.

I’m certain I’m going to have an accident within the circuit whilst I’m learning driving. My driving instructor kept asking me if I was very nervous…which I was.

I mean…all these cars on my left and right…not to mention all those motorcyclists as well. If only they can get out of my way, I wouldn’t be so nervous. As it was, I gripped the steering wheel tightly everytime I see a car either on my left or right.

And don’t even ask me the number of times I stopped suddenly and threw my instructor off.. He kept saying ‘brake slowly, apply the brakes gently’. BUT that’s what I did!!!! Well, I thought that’s what I was doing, anyway.

And how on earth do you co-ordinate all those movements between the legs, the hands and the eyes???? I’m forty, my refelxes aren’t that good anymore…I can only do one thing at a time.

Sheeshh….

Well..I’m having more lessons next week, and the week after that, and the week after that. Actually I’m having lessons for many weeks to come. And I’m convinced that either I or my driving instructor will have a heart attack before the end of my lessons.

Wish me luck people!

The year in review – Jul to Sep 2006

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July 2006

July was a very happening month for me.

– 7th wedding anniversary.
– 1st operation
– 40th birthday

In that order.

Marriage may have been made in heaven, but you have to work on it on earth. Ask anyone who’s been in a marriage (or a relationship) lone enough and they will tell you that the ‘ever after’ isn’t all about love, fresh air, flowers and candlelight dinners. It consists of laundry, grocery shopping and bills, hardly romantic stuff. But love, romance and memories are found in everyday daily routine.

– when he washes that pair of dirty shoes for me
– when he prepares breakfast for me
– when he holds my hand as we cross the road
– when we watch a video at home on a Saturday night

The Chinese believe that there’s an ‘invisible’ red string that ties a couple together as soon as you are born. Ours must have been one very long string. ^^

My operation….Ahhh.. (read about it here and here). It was quite an experience because I’ve never been hospitalised before. It was very strange being wheeled in the operating room, knowing that my body was going to cut up. What do people think about just before entering the operating room. I kept remembering all those hospital scenes in the Korean and Hong Kong dramas. They always seemed to have this scene where the guy/ girl holds on to the hands of the guy/ girl who’s ‘going-to-be- operated’. Me? I only remember feeling very naked whilst twiddling my thumbs as I waited. I think I did have butterflies in my stoach and wondered what would have happened if I have to make a mad dash for the toilet.

So it was with great relief that we were going on a holiday to Phuket (my story here, here, here, here, here, here and here. I could be as fat as I want here and nobody would know.

And whilst in Phuket, I celebrated my Big 40. Yes, yes, I finally reached the number ‘4’. But I don’t feel 40 leh. Seriously though, being 40 is no different form being 30…only a little wiser..a little calmer.

Me definitely not looking my best
August 2006
Both of us have always enjoyed going to WOMAD. It’s always a highlight in our calendar. And it’s always exhilarating to see the crowd go wild (well, wild by SG standard). For those who enjoy music and performances, you should attend this event. It’s wonderful to just chill out under the stars. Music is truely a universal language.

This little eating place in the the westen part of Singapore has been around for about 60 years. In the old colonial days, it used to serve lots of soliders in the various camps around there. Now it’s patronised by a mixture of expats, locals and locals who behave like expats. They all come because of the great food great and and the wonderfully relax environment with a capital ‘R’. Chubby Hubby has quite a good review here.

Coldbar in Portsdown Road
 

September 2006
Hubby celebrated his birthday by going to the Ford Factory. And no, it wasn’t my suggestion or my birthday present to him. It was just a place he was curious about. I was only partly aware of this place (I know, I know, shame on me not knowing my own country’s history). It was where the British governement surrendered to the Japanese army. How was the place? As museum goes, it’s could be better. Perhaps in time to come. Still, it was fairly interesting enough.


It does make me think I should perhaps spend a little more time getting to know my own roots and things that are nearer to me. Often places that are far away seemed so much more attractive that we forget that we have just as interesting spots right at our door-step.

I guess you could say the same about the people around us. Sometimes, I think I know more of what’s happening to my friends than my own family members.

2007 seems a good time to change this. Don’t you think?